Star Trek Parodies by Rick Moyer

Dr. Starfleet Man

Deep Space Nine was such a great story telling show. Dr Bashir was a really great character- so I wrote the lyrics about him and did it to the tune of Secret Agent Man. Enjoy!

 
There’s a man that works in sick bay full time
To everyone he’s the doctor on Deep Space Nine
With every dart he throws, Obrien’s sure to go
Odds are they’ll be found in the holosuite tomorrow
 
Doctor Starfleet Man, Doctor Starfleet man
They’ve enhanced your genetics and named you Julian
 
We know you have a crush on Jadziah
But later on she marries Worf so see ya…
Ah, be careful of Garak
Make sure he’s got your back
Odds are that he’s no civilian Tailor

Doctor Starfleet Man, Doctor Starfleet man
They’ve enhanced your genetics and named you Julian

—— lead guitar & clips ——

Doctor Starfleet Man, Doctor Starfleet man
They’ve enhanced your genetics and named you Julian

Playing racquetball on the station
Always full of all sorts of information
If someone gets real sick
You get them healed real quick
The fact is Sisko has the best physician

Doctor Starfleet Man, Doctor Starfleet man
They’ve enhanced your genetics and named you Julian

Doctor Starfleet Man

Chain of Command is a two part episode of Star Trek The Next Generation. I really dig that episode where Captain Picard is replaced by Captain Jellico. At one point during the show Counselor Troi visits with the captain as he shares pictures from home. One is a little stick figure drawing of an elephant. I just couldn’t resist, and thus “Elephants in the Ready Room was born to the tune of Smokin in the boys room. Enjoy!

Elephants in the Ready Room
to the tune of Smokin in the boys room
By Rick Moyer

(Spoken)
How you doin out there?  Y’ever seem to have one of those days
where it just seems like transmissions from a Cardasia say they are making biological weapons of mass destruction?
Well you know, it’s just run of the mill stuff in the federation, but get this the Enterprise has a new captain and it’s no fun, let me tell you about it.

(Sung)

Pickin up emissions, on the world Celtris 3
Picard Crusher and Warf book passage to see
Federation sends a guy Jellico’s his name
Tries to be the captain but drives everyone insane

Elephants in the Ready Room
Elephants in the Ready Room
Now, Jelico, don’t keep treatin number one like a fool,
Cause everybody knows that Jean Luc is way more cool.

A-checkin out a planet, the captain taken for sure
Strip him of his clothes, and Gul Madread torture
Back on the enterprise things are rather tense
Deanna wearing a uniform and four shifts are quite immense

Elephants in the Ready Room
yeah
Elephants in the Ready Room
Now, Jelico, don’t keep treatin number one like a fool,
Cause everybody knows that Jean Luc is way more cool.

(Clips from episode)

Give picard injections just to tell the truth
but defense of Minos Korva still remains aloof
Makin him all crazy by brainwashing into the night
Finally in the end the captain screams there are FOUR LIGHTS!

Elephants in the Ready Room
yes indeed
Elephants in the Ready Room
Now, Jelico, don’t keep treatin number one like a fool,
Cause everybody knows that Jean Luc is way more cool.
One mo!

Elephants in the Ready Room
oh oh.
Elephants in the Ready Room
Now, Jelico, don’t keep treatin number one like a fool,
Cause everbody knows that Jean Luc is way more cool.

Give him back the Enterprise would ya?

Spock’s Brain

In honor of the 4th Anniversary of Treks In Sci Fi I put together a very fun parody song. I used to really enjoy Ozzy’s music and after wearing out my cassette tape with Crazy Train on it, it came as no surprise that I had to do “Spock’s Brain” I thought that it was a very fun episode- kind of a clunker, so enjoy re-living it. And congratulations to Rico for the 4th anniversary of the podcast!

Spock’s Brain
To the tune of Ozzy’s Crazy Train
Rick Moyer

Beam Aboard!  Hahahahahaha
eyemorg…  morg morg morg morg

Crazy, but that’s just the show
Renewed a third Season
the ratings so low

Lady, in purple clothes
Ion propulsion
To make her ship go

Apparently without feeling
The first officer’s why they came
Some crazy looking lady just stole Spock’s Brain
Some crazy looking lady just stole Spock’s Brain

Let’s go

On Glacial 6 planet
The party beams down

Found Giants with leg warmers
And an underground town
McCoy rigs the Vulcan,
to respond like a borg
The men are all questioned
by the women called Morg

Ladies with big bracelets
Of pleasure and pain
We’re going on a search for Spock’s Brain
We’re going on a search for Spock’s Brain
I know your medalla ambalangoda sings

You gotta get back in your head
Yeah-eh

Waist bands of pain for

The red button makes dead
McCoy gets the knowledge,
and works on Spock’s head

 Maybe, in three hours of work
The Doctor repairs him
watched by Scotty and Kirk

 The nerves there’s a million
but with Spock’s help he’s not lame
We just went on a trip and we found Spock’s BrainWe just went on a trip and we found Spock’s Brain

It’s Nomad

The TOS episode “The Changeling” is really a fun episode. We get to see a cool robot, Uhura’s mind wiped, Scotty killed off and more! I took Linda Rondstadt’s song “Hurt so bad” and changed it up a bit. Now it’s called “It’s Nomad” enjoy.

It’s Nomad
to the tune of Linda Ronstadt’s “Hurt so bad”

by Rick Moyer

Travelin’ through
Lost contact with the others too
Somethings coming at warp two

Well let me tell you that it’s, it’s Nomad
It’s acting really really bad
It’s the probe Nomad coming back again

Like M4 from Flint
Your programming it must have strayed
Roykirk didn’t program you that way

Well let me tell you that it’s, it’s Nomad
It’s acting really really bad
It’s gonna hurt Nomad, if you get your way

Why don’t you stay
let me mind meld with you today
It’s true I’m biological too
You served me before, now serve me again

I can’t let you go back to Earth
Please don’t go Nomad

Please don’t go
Please don’t go ooooo
It’s Nomad

bring Scotty back Nomad
Imperfect Nomad check your record banks for me

Oooooh oh oh oh

You’re imperfect Nomad
You know it’s really bad when Uhura must learn ABC’s

No, it’s Nomad

You see you’re just as bad

Qpid is one of my favorite TNG episodes. This is where Picard is dressed in Robin Hood clothes and has to rescue his love from the castle before she is married to Sir Guy. So I took the song “That thing you do” and wrote it from Picard’s point of view and thus “That thing with Q” was born. ENJOY!

That thing with Q

You
Doin’ that thing with Q
Orbiting like your eyes, I’m gonna speak now
To some archaeologist guys

And Q,
He kidnapped all the crew,
He knew that I liked you, to hold you oh Vash
I’m  in love with you
Well I try and try to forget you girl,
And I don’t share with the crew,
Every time you do that thing with Q

I,
Robin Hood I’m forced to play
And I’ve got to find a way, to get you back from Sir Guy
You’ll be mine someday
‘Cause we,
Are in Q’s fantasy
If you’d only let me come to rescue you
Take you back in space with me

‘Cause I try and try to forget you girl,
Yet I don’t share with the crew
Every time you do that thing with Q

I don’t ask a lot girl,
But I know one thing’s for sure,
I won’t let you be beheaded
And my friends will help me a whole lot more…
whhhhhhaaaa!

‘Cause we,
Might be orbiting Tagus Three
But were in Sherwood forest together with my crew
Vash I need to be with you

Cause it hurts me so just to see you go,
Around with pompous Q,
And if I know you you’re doin’ that thing,
Every day just doin’ that thing,
I can’t take you doing that thing with Q

One Republic’s song “Apologize” was given new strength because of Amercian Idol this season. As I was listening to the song Nathan and I came up with- “It’s too late to energize” So he urged me by writing most of the lyrics and getting me the soundtrack. Thus the new parody song was produced. I have an alternate version coming out on video called “it’s too late to eat these fries” – exploring cold french fries at McDonalds. Should be fun. Look for it on my youtube channel. http://www.youtube/rickmoyer777

ENERGIZE-
to the tune of One Republic’s “Apologize”
by Rick & Nathan Moyer

Nero…. Nero…

I’m falling through the air
beam us  ten feet off the ground
Vulcan’s gettin’ closer,
but there is no one else around
You promised that you’d beam me up
but  I keep on falling down
I’ll wait…
Chekov keeps on trying
though I might  hit the ground, and I  would say..

That it’s too late to energize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to energize, it’s too late

I’d take another jump, take a hit, take a blast for you
And I need you like a ship needs a warp core
(holding on to Sulu)
Yeah yeah

I loved you with a phaser  red, now it’s turning blue
And you say
Sorry said the Ensign I’m having trouble locking on to you
But I’m afraid

It’s too late to energize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to energize, it’s too late
Woahooo woah

It’s too late to energize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to energize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to energize, yeah yeah
I said it’s too late to energize, a yeah

I’m falling through the air
beam us ten feet off the ground

Help Tom
http://www.takehimwithyou.com/songs/helptom.mp3

This week Rico covered the TNG episode “Second Chances” the one where unbeknown to Riker he was split in two eight years prior in a transporter and atmospheric accident. Well, I love the Beatles, and I love Star Trek.. so here you go. HELP!

HELP TOM
a parody of Help by the Beatles
sung by Rick Moyer

Help, I need somebody,
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.

When I was younger, eight years ago today,
I beamed down with my Starfleet buds on the team away
But now my team is gone and I’m left all alone
Somehow the transporter created me a clone.

Help me if you can, My name is Tom
And that guy that looks like me can’t play that song
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won’t you please, please help me?

And now my life has changed here on Nervalla Four
I want to prove myself by retrieving the computer core.
My brother disagrees he thinks that I just whine,
So I’m gonna go after Troi and really make her mine.

Help me if you can, my name is Tom
And the clone of mine has taken up the com
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won’t you please, please help me.

So with my phaser I make a real cool pic
Jenarin Falls where me and Deanna took a trip
But with two of us it just doesn’t seem to work
It wouldn’t matter if my name had just been Kirk

Help me if you can, my name is Tom
and I can’t stay on this ship for very long
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won’t you please, please help me, help me, help me, oh.

Unimatrix Zero One Seven of nine

There is just something about Tommy Two tone that pulls on my rock n roll roots. When Rico talked about covering the Seven of Nine heavy episode of Voyager called Dark Frontier, I thought about doing something about Seven of Nine. My friend Jen from the Anomaly podcast suggested I try the Tommy Tutone song. And here we are. Enjoy!

Unimatrix 01 Seven of Nine

Janeway, Janeway
Who can I turn to?
You rescued someone
We can depend on
I know you think
that she’s just one of the Borg
severed from the collective
Just one of the hoard

Janeway, You’ve got Borg drone
We need to change her mind-
Janeway, don’t let them keep her
Unimatrix zero one Seven of Nine
(Unimatrix zero one Seven of Nine)

 
Janeway Janeway
You’ve got the drone for me
Her nanoprobes
They heal me so happy
I tried to talk to her before
she’s so cold
I tried regeneration
But it felt so old

Janeway, You’ve gota Borg drone
We need to change her mind-
Janeway, don’t let them keep her
Unimatrix zero one Seven of Nine
(Unimatrix zero one Seven of Nine)

I got it
(I got it) I got it
I got your nanoprobes in me
I got it
(I got it) I got it
For efficiency For a efficiency  call

[Instrumental Interlude]

Janeway, You’ve got a Borg drone
We need to change her mind-
Janeway, don’t let them keep her
Unimatrix zero one Seven of Nine

Janeway, Janeway who can we turn to?
Unimatrix Zero One Seven of Nine
For a collective time
I can always depend on her
Anica Hansen, Seven of Nine
Unimatrix Zero One Seven of Nine

Shut up and let’s just go!

New years eve 2008 I saw the Tink Tinks live and thought, what a strange song! Then after hearing all the complaining about the new Star Trek movie I wanted to scream “Shut up and let’s just go to the movie!” and thus, this song was born. I think the new movie is going to be great, but hey folks, just relax, more trek is good. Let’s just wait to see it before we freak out.

Shut up and let’s just go (to the new Star Trek Movie)

To the tune of the Ting Ting’s (Shut up and let me go)

Shut up and let’s just go
it’s an Abram’s film  you know
For a new take on the old space ships
Now shut up and let’s just go
It’s a star trek mass machine
I bet he changed the uniforms

Now, not so cheesily, the fans go easily

Gone is Shat It’s us that ought to be

bout the spock  It’s not attainable 

this time out it’s not so cranial
I ain’t steaming
I ain’t taking this
I ain’t steaming
I ain’t taking this
I ain’t steaming
I ain’t taking this
Shut up and let’s just go
Hey
Shut up and lets just go
To the movie, just so you know

I don’t care what shape the nacells are
Now shut up and lets just go 
Sylar can be the new spock
And I like the new kirk really  a lot

Oh so critically you are ditsing me

Gone is Koenig in the Trek Movie

The bridge is  bright, it’s not affordable

I want something unignorable
I ain’t steaming
I ain’t taking this
I ain’t steaming
I ain’t taking this
I ain’t steaming
I ain’t taking this
Shut up and let’s just go
Hey

Oh Kirk, Enterprise, Ship

Hey!

Shut up and lets just go
Quit trying to make it so

until you see the new release

Hey shutup and lets just go!
Hey!

We won’t get fooled again

Rico reviewed the Deep Space Nine episode Apocalypse Rising. It is one of my favorite DS9 episodes. I love seeing Odo, Sisko and Chief Obrien in Klingon garb. Very cool. Well anyway all that to say Odo was fooled into thinking that Gowron was a changling. So I parodied the Who’s “We don’t get fooled again” with “We won’t get fooled again” I think you will enjoy this song with lots of clips from the show!

We won’t be fooled again

We’ll be headed to the Kor
and Starfleet knows what for
Cause the Klingon that’s in charge is simply wrong
Odo heard it in the link
Man this could really stink
They decide and Dukat takes them all along
 
Well I’ll change my face for the new starfleet mission
Party it up at the Batleth competition
Drink blood wine and grin all around
Pick up my emitter and play
the polaron emissions say
Then I’ll revert the changeling to say
we wont be fooled again…
 
The change is has to come
or Starfleet could be done
the dominion would take over the entire  universe
On the ship they get all trained
And Sisko acts deranged
Cause they have to be convincing Klingons really soon
 
Well I’ll change my face for the new Starfleet mission
Party it up at the Batleth competition
Drink blood wine and grin all around
I’ll pick up my emitter and play
the polaron emissions say
Then I’ll revert the changeling to say
we won’t be fooled again…
No No!
 
I’ll move myself and my crew mates aside
if we happen to be left alive
I’ll get in position and look at the guys
Exposing Gowron will open up their eyes
won’t it?
 
Well or team we got exposed
and we thought we were all hosed
But Gowrons second in command was acting weird
So as Worf tried to kill Gowron
Odo knew the game was on
It was Martock the founder he’s the one that got seared
 
Well I’ll change my face for the new Starfleet mission
Party it up at the Batleth competition
Drink blood wine and grin all around
Pick up my emitter and play
the polaron emissions say
Then I’ll revert the changeling to say
we won’t be fooled again…
No No!  be fooled again, no no
 
Meet the new Chancellor
Same as old Chancellor